The Relationships Pillars - Wealth

Geplaatst op 09-02-2023

Everyone agrees that chicks dig rich guys. It’s hardwired into a woman’s DNA to lock down a male provider with resources, and the more resources the better. As little as 60 years ago having a decent job with a steady paycheck was about all a guy needed to attract a wife. Any guy with substantially more wealth than that was considered a prize (read: any Jane Austen novel).

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective), this is no longer the case. That’s right guys, your parents and grandparents encouragement to just “get a good job” so you can “settle down” is advice rooted in culture that is nearly irrelevant to the modern Western man. In fact, it’s dangerous : statistically speaking, you’ll spend 40+ years working in a job you hate to provide for a fat harridan of a wife and a brood of ingrates.

That being said, cultural inertia and women’s ingrained desire for a provider being what they are, this is probably the most confusing pillar for guys competing in today’s dating market. It seems like the hottest women end up with the richest guys, so wouldn’t it make sense to acquire as much wealth as possible?

Depends.

Wealth is relative. You and your $30k/yr job would never be considered rich…in America. You could own a village in Africa, however. The “wealthy” guys women chase are typically in the top 2% of the nation. What does that suggest? That women see wealth in relative terms.

For example, take Peggy Poor and Rachel Rich. Peggy grew up in the rural South as the daughter of a factory worker. She never went hungry, but she definitely didn’t have amenities. Rachel, on the other hand, is the daughter of a television producer in Los Angeles. They spend half the year in their beach “house” in Malibu and the rest of the year divided between their condo on the French Riviera and a swanky apartment in New York. Which of the two is likely to think a man making $100k/yr is rich?

Let’s muddle the water even further. Peggy is a smart girl. A really smart girl, in fact; she worked hard and won herself a full ride to Harvard. Rachel isn’t as smart, and has the added disadvantage of being spoiled rotten. Peggy graduates with honors from Harvard and goes on to law school at Yale, where she dominates the law review and a Supreme Court clerkship. She gets a ton of offers from firms and chooses one making $150k/yr starting salary. Rachel goes through a series of hardships; daddy dies, mom blows all the money on cocaine and cabana boys, her Womyn’s Studies “degree” doesn’t end up being very marketable, and she ends up having to move to the Valley. Oh woe is her. Now who is likely to think a man making $100k/yr is rich?

The point of this is to help you realize that not only is wealth relative, but that being a “provider” is no longer the ticket to a relationship it once was because women can now provide for themselves.

Now, that is NOT to say that having a job (“job” being shorthand for “wealth producing activity”) isn’t important. Women’s innate desire for a provider, combined with a strong (even today) social expectation that men produce, means that having a decent job is absolutely necessary. The problem comes when guys think “Ok, I’ve got a decent job. Now I deserve a girlfriend.”

Your job is a prerequisite for having a quality girlfriend. It’s like brushing your teeth and bathing; they don’t help you much, but not doing them can kill your chances. Where wealth starts to matter is when it provides a significant increase in either a) a woman’s standard of living or (in some cases) b) the amount of effort she needs to put in to maintain her standard of living.

To wrap your head around this idea, consider Ivanka Trump (I definitely considered that for awhile). Do you think she cares at all how much money a guy makes? NOPE. Her standard of living is so high that few if any men could significantly increase it. As such, the relative value she places on a man’s provider status is nil. How about Rachel Rich from earlier? Her father is clearly a millionaire, so she’s not too concerned about money. But what if a billionaire came along? You get the idea.

The other aspect of this is a guy who won’t provide a significant increase in a woman’s standard of living but who will allow her to reduce her output significantly (key during pregnancy and with small children). Peggy Poor-turned-lawyer is a great example. A few years after starting work, she’s making $200k/yr. Suddenly, the internal clock starts ticking and she wants to be a mommy. She meets a guy making $150k/yr. His job wouldn’t significantly improve her standard of living, but with him around, she can work dramatically less hours and be a mom without her standard of living dropping (much). This makes him a far more attractive prospect.

So what’s a guy to do? Don’t freak out over having a high-paying job. Have a job you enjoy and that provides you with what you consider to be a decent income, but don’t make your job your primary method of attracting a woman. Like I stated before, you will have to be in the top 2%-ish of earners for your job to matter, and by definition that means most of you won’t make it. Plus, there are far more effective ways of attracting women. Get your job together so you can move on to more productive ventures.

Unless you plan on meeting poor foreign women. Which is totally legit.